The truth is that I struggle immensely with running a business. The truth is that I feel a need to define myself. The truth is that I am an artist, not a fashion designer. The truth is: I QUIT!
For 6 years I have: created art, been a slave to sewing, stressed myself out over trying to create a hemp clothing "line" time and time again, grown in leaps and bounds, learned my own way, spent hours upon hours just thinking, been defeated, felt victorious, and have followed my bliss. Since starting my business I have continually gone through a cycle of being intensely creative, burning out, starting again in a new way, breaking down, and then starting again from the beginning. At first this cycle took a really long time, like 2 years, but lately it has been fast and furious, repeating all too often, several times just since Keller has been born (1 year ago). This time I have faced the truth, I am not going to do it again.
The truth is, having a kid changes you, even if you don't think it will, even if you don't want it to. Falling in love also changes you. It has been over 8 years since I have been by myself without anyone or anything else to worry or think about. In that time I have grown into someone different than I used to be, defining myself through my art, my business and my family. I have realized in the last few weeks that I have come to the end of the journey with my business. I have found the courage to say I am done, I am ready to venture out into the world, not forgetting one bit of who I am, where I came from or what I've learned, but using all of my knowledge, skills and talent to carve out a better existence for myself, and a better future for my family.
The truth is, this is just the beginning. I don't yet know exactly where this new journey will take me, but I am ready for it to begin.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
wow, thats great , a relief, i bet. sad for me though ! i love your work.
i'm right there with you, though... i'm in a rut with my business too... its SO hard to have young baby, husband, and run a business. Good Luck!!!
l!
mary jane
I have to agree with mary jane- it must be a relief to make a conclusive decision one way or the other. Be gentle with yourself! You and your family should come first. Why do it if you aren't loving the time spent? I love every piece I've bought from you and I'll miss seeing more of what you create!
Annie
Good for you. You should always do what makes you happy. Enjoy your extra, stress-free time with your family :) I am so sad to miss out on wearing your clothes, though. I absolutely love them. You are a truly amazing artist!
I know exactly where you're at, Jess. I too go through the same changes and struggles and am feeling really undecided about what to do with ICGear.
I hope you find true happiness going to school and spending more time with your family. i still hope we can meet up one day! please do let me know if you're ever in the eugene area!
Blissings,
Marlena
yo marlena! Good to hear from you girl ;) Remember how you once told me that Eugene is like a vortex? WEll, that's kind of how Silverton is too. Especially these days, trying to conserve gas and all, I pretty much don't go anywhere except up to Portland maybe once a month. Are you going to the String SUmmit? WE're trying to go to that, and then if we have money at the time, we'll hit up the Country Fair too. Drop me an email sometime!
Hi Jess,
I'm happy you were able to make the decision that works for you at this stage in your life. If you ever find yourself feeling the entrepreneurial itch again, I recommend reading "The E-Myth Revisited". It's a wonderful book that can help artists and technicians work on their businesses instead of in them. It's a good read even if you don't get the E-itch again.
Best wishes to you and your family.
TL
Post a Comment