Its about the journey~

A long time fellow stitcher sent me some super lovely words, reminding me that its about the journey, not the destination. As it goes in my work, it is also about the process, not the end result. Understanding this made me realize why I have struggled for so many years with the whole business issue. Constantly thinking about the end stage, the final product of my business endeavors, completely crowded and clouded my mind and creative energy. It was with this notion that I set out to get back into the process of creating over the last few weeks. It was so great to have that feeling again....being really INTO the process, creating art for its/my own sake...feeling like it was an outlet instead of a drain. Its like I'm getting back in touch with a part of myself that has been absent for a long time and now I am able to be more creative in my everyday activities too, changing my life!

So this skirt and a dress are what I made over the last few weeks. They are on EBay: http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZecounique

Once again I have to say thank you to all of the wonderful friends and acquaintances I've made through this journey~ you continue to inspire and amaze me :) Love to all*

It feels really good

Just wanted to write a quick post to tell you all how good it feels to be hearing from everyone, and hearing the words of encouragement. I have been overwhelmed by the support in my decision to close EcoUnique. It has really cleared my mind and I am ready to reinvent my vision of Art to Wear! I am starting on some amazing new threads this week, including a Lone Star Dress. The Lone Star Dress was a classic piece I used to make a lot and they always serve the purpose of getting my creativity going again.
Thank you ALL SO much for your kindness, it means the world to me!
*mwah*

Living the dream

I feel like I have so much to say, but I'm going to keep this short. I feel like my head was filled up and over crowded for awhile, but with all these changes I am making in my life, I feel like there is tons of room now ;) haha. Its freeing, really. Yesterday I cleaned out my workshop to further help clear things out and make room for future endeavors. I have a whole bunch of stuff to list on EBAY today and will send out a mailing list email once I do that. I am beginning to feel like I can let my creativity out again. This time I don't care if anyone thinks its too hippy dippy, or if anyone thinks its too mainstream, or if anyone thinks anything at all....after all, this is about my vision. I am trying to live the dream, folks. Sometimes I loose sight of that dream, or am just downright confused about what that dream is. It certainly isn't easy, but its definitely the best way for me to live my life.

From here on out

I should probably clarify things a bit. I am putting an end to EcoUnique, sadly, but I will still be making clothing. In order for me to move forward with other projects, ideas, etc, I need to put EcoUnique behind me. I can no longer make clothing as a business. I need to create other things in order to maintain my sanity and happiness, and be a fully functioning member of my family. From now on, when I make clothing to sell, it will probably be listed on EBay, or maybe Etsy, or both...I haven't decided yet.

So that brings me to what I wanted to say about this blog, and my plans for the future. Nothing is set in stone yet (is it ever?) but I have a wealth of ideas. I love having this blog as an outlet for my thoughts....sometimes my brain works in hyper speed and I just can't always keep up with all of my ideas. Writing them down here, in public, will better help me to organize myself and keep track of what I need to do.

What I am currently thinking about doing, and I'm pretty sure I will be following through on this, is going back to school to get an MFA, Master's of Fine Art. I am looking into applying for Fall 09! But in the meantime, I have some smaller goals. One is to make some crazy appliqued wall hangings, and bring them down to the co-op gallery in our town and see if I can become a member. Being a member would be great because I'd have another venue to sell my work, I would get to be around other working artists, and it would get me out of the house at least one day a month, without my child or husband! I am also going to join the Art Association in our town (our town has a lot to offer for being such a small town) and hopefully start teaching some classes eventually, which would be great experience for being a Graduate Teaching Assistant if I go for the MFA....oh yeah, a large reason for going for the MFA would be so I could ultimately teach college. In fact, that was what I was contemplating doing before I started my business, way back in the day of Mountain Sun Designs.....anyone remember that? The dress picture is from back around that time. I have more to say on the topic of looking back over the last 6 years and where it has all led to, but I will save that for another post.

Lastly, as I complete the process of letting go of this huge part of myself, I will be phasing out the EcoUnique website. In place of that, I will be creating a website for myself, an on-line portfolio of sorts. This is not going to be anytime soon, but will happen slowly as I approach applying for grad school. So from here on out, its just me, pure and simple....no clothing label to hide behind.

The Truth Is

The truth is that I struggle immensely with running a business. The truth is that I feel a need to define myself. The truth is that I am an artist, not a fashion designer. The truth is: I QUIT!

For 6 years I have: created art, been a slave to sewing, stressed myself out over trying to create a hemp clothing "line" time and time again, grown in leaps and bounds, learned my own way, spent hours upon hours just thinking, been defeated, felt victorious, and have followed my bliss. Since starting my business I have continually gone through a cycle of being intensely creative, burning out, starting again in a new way, breaking down, and then starting again from the beginning. At first this cycle took a really long time, like 2 years, but lately it has been fast and furious, repeating all too often, several times just since Keller has been born (1 year ago). This time I have faced the truth, I am not going to do it again.

The truth is, having a kid changes you, even if you don't think it will, even if you don't want it to. Falling in love also changes you. It has been over 8 years since I have been by myself without anyone or anything else to worry or think about. In that time I have grown into someone different than I used to be, defining myself through my art, my business and my family. I have realized in the last few weeks that I have come to the end of the journey with my business. I have found the courage to say I am done, I am ready to venture out into the world, not forgetting one bit of who I am, where I came from or what I've learned, but using all of my knowledge, skills and talent to carve out a better existence for myself, and a better future for my family.

The truth is, this is just the beginning. I don't yet know exactly where this new journey will take me, but I am ready for it to begin.